hi world!

im feeling cold and five min later warm and again cold and again warm. and im having sore throat. sigh. felt so irritated. coz i cant talk much. and im having on and offs headaches for the passed i dont know how many days. for a little while im alright for a little while i need to just lie down. sigh. or am i falling sick soon? hurhur........

went to school today and i got back my Office Applications result. hehe. guess how did i do? hehe. there will be a competition! DRAGON BOAT competition. by classes. hehe if im not wrong lar. well im kinda looking forward to it as ive NEVER ever tried dragon boating. hahas.

my results:
Accounting Fundamentals - 89/100 (A)
Business Fundamentals - 66/100 (C)
Office Applications - 88/100 (A)

so 2 As and 1 C. will i get a GPA of 3 and above? i dont want just 3 i want 3.5. praying really hard. oh well the more important paper aint here yet. so i shall mug harder then...

im having test tomorrow. God please bless me. thou that test aint accountable.

i was reading the newpaper this afternoon. read about our very own actress Pan Ling Ling. her sons and her had an accident. dont know what lar. but her car window got smash and the rear door is outta shape already. her elder son told her: mummy i thought it was raining. - the smashed glasses of the window is falling on him- and boy little Beckam age 7 wasnt even crying. he was so brave. wow. i really admire the courage this boy has got. and his 4 year old brother never cry also can. so BRAVE. and Beckam is injured and wouldnt be attending school for at least a week. oh Dear God.. please heal this boy!

i was reading and reading. and man i really think the second coming of Jesus is coming lar. where great tribulations will happen so on and so forth. missles killed many childrens over at erm.. i forgot where. and robberies causing one man in coma but is awake now. and... bus turtle turned twice and people were killed. and etc.

i feel heavy hearted. coz exams are coming and im not mentally prepared for it. and im so worried of the outcome lar. too worried till i couldnt sleep well. ahh. and i know im not a born worrier. but.. I AM JUST WORRIED LOR.

was chatting with gecko. well.. nothing is perfect dear. appreciate whatever little things you are given. you didnt like it, but.. at least you have got what the other wanted.

everyone around me is taken. im so sad. not all but majority lar..am sad not because that im still single. but well im not available thou. sad because i dont know who i can ask to go out and have fun with anymore. or im just worried their other party might not be happy about the place i wanna go and playing with you guys everyday? or am i just thinking too much? anyways im happy for you all. be greatly blessed all! hehe.

wow. i think the time i take to change a blog layout is getting faster and faster. haahaas.

ive decided to change my blog layout due to the madness of being home alone. doing nothing and all. so to make my time worthwhile, a new change of layout is here! -applause everyone!-

well. this blog layout is OBVIOUSLY not done by me. haha. i mean those pictures and all la. except for the fonts and all. ive changed it.

as you guys scroll down. you can see those pictures looking so darn weird. well. i practically just resize it in the blog. so its looking so weird lar. if i were to change all, i might take years. coz this bloggie is like gonna be like two years old! i cant resize all the pictures taken years back. and i tell you theres hundreds and hundreds of them lar. so.. just dont view my past entries lor. haha!

hmm. looking through my new bloggie layout, WOW. its really wordy. haha! oh well. i just cant stop typing lar. hahas.

bestie! any comment on this? anyways. i miss you dear.

oh God. its so rare to see me staying at home during the weekends. or i mean staying at HOME. yeah staying at home. meaning, not doing anything but lazing, rotting and wasting my time away.

i was thinking and thinking. i feel so weird that im at home on this day. ahh. well normally ill be out to work or shopping in town or just hang out with girlfriends. but just not this day. what is happening? well. in fact, im too broke as its the end of the month and money just aint coming in as yet. well, you'll see me going out more often next month. no matter what im so gonna go out later.

and that serene cheong just called and told me she'll meet like an hour later COZ she wants to FINISH her last EPISODE of MR FIGHTING. goodness gracious, dear! cant you feel or hear that im dying of boredom? ahhhh........ dear said: aiya okie la dont disturb me liao i need to finish that show. and i was like: YOU CAN FAST FORWARD WADDDD? and i said i had already finished part 1 ALREADY like in 2 DAYS. she said you FAST FORWARD one right. me: haha yah. ahhhh im feeling soooo borrredddd.. when i can work, i feel lazy to work, when i need not work, im so tired of staying at home. maybe i should just head back to bed and sleep till daylight. hahas.

and i die die am gonna get my honeydew sago. ive been craving for it since midnight lor! ahh.. im feeling super duper bored at home. tv shows so boring. nothing just interesting for me la.

i stayed home yesterday and sleep like a pig alright. i cant believe it. i actually slept from 2+630pm yesterday. and lazed around till 2+am and sleep till this afternoon 12+pm. i think im gonna be a real pig soon.

i miss shopping and chilling out and just walking around town. buying little stuffs just to satisfy myself. hurhur. i so wanna go out lar. i cannot take it already im turning mad.

im not very looking forward to next week. why? exam lor! im having exam on Ms Excel. and im in deep sheeshh coz im so weak with Ms Excel lar. ive no much confidence in getting an A. sighs. coz im still very not sure with the Conditional Formating and stuff like pivot table and all. im so screwed.

i wanted to meet deary for lunch today. but deary have to go grandmas place and im so sad coz noones gonna meet me for lunch. den, bro asked if i wanna have lunch, im darn happy. i had teh peng and know what i told bro, i said kor kor i want teh oh. and i was like sheesh wrong. den i said the brown one leh. ice one leh. what is that? den he said its teh peng. haha. we had this mixed veg food? ci cha isit? hmm. very cheap. hehe. and its very filling. haha. i wanna go marketing. who wanna visit the wet market with moi? my dears? wanna go? lets have another cooking madness in my kitchen~~~

dear world. my poor tigger is crippled. how the hell did he got his little leg fractured i wonder. darn he is like meow-ing to me once he saw me or i tried to -sayang- him. he bite me coz he is in pain i guess. he loves to go out soo much and come home injured. this is his punishment i guess. go out fight la. come home and cry. but still my heart HURTS!!!! sigh! aiyo! which idiotic cat did this to him!!!

baby tung is unwell. please do take good care and get well soon dearest.

i went phuture last night with baby tung. hehe. and her friends. there were many people please. i cant even dance properly. some stupid asses would just come in and dance and push people and kiss and do whatever sheesh over there and i practically couldnt dance properly or even enjoy the time i could dance lar. but still i did danced. hahas.

the music only got better till the later time and im like OH GOD why now? coz im like got to leave like so soon? when the time to get mad is here? sigh... so i left for home. and thanks to amanda's friend for being one kind soul to send me home. thats very nice of him. haha.

i have a sudden feel of wanting to go drinking. not beer ofcoz. but wine. hehe. who wanna jio me out? hahas.

ive got no idea when will that marcus tan be free for me. and i guess nelson ong will be free after exams? what about aloysious prince? when will you like date me out? i wanna go out and play.

i wanna go for moviessssss!! i wanna eat ice cream!!! i wanna go crazie under the sun too!! i wanna go for kboxing tooooo.......

i ended work at 7pm and here i am blogging for the second time. hehe.. well.. the kids weree.... VERY NAUGHTY today. im so gonna nao chong xie soon. gonna burst soon. haha. they dont listen. they even "molested" me.

they hit my butt. omgosh! i wanted to scream at them when they do that. but they just smile and giggle i know they dont mean to touch, no i mean smack, no hit. my butt, but they're just playful. i think they dont understand that im their TEACHER. and goodness, they called me teacher janice instead of teacher jessie. JAN, they only remember you ah! hahas. they even OIE me. till i stared hard at them and asked them to repeat what they said then they change oie to TEACHER. aiyo.. they are really very playful. well i shall be more firm with them the next time i go there.

fights and screams and cries i seen today. got this girl mindy, i think she is those small small ah lian. xiao mei mei kind. very xiao. haha. go around hitting the P1 kids. step on one of them and make him cry. haiyo......

and i have stickers for them.. so i make FULL use of those stickers. if they want the stickers, they jolly well behave and do what i ask them to... well. the only one who obey all my instructions is BENJAMIN. this boy can be very naughty but nice la. he finished 10 questions just to ask for 2 stickers from me can. and extra more stickers to keep chairs and pack stuff. this kid is really greedy too. haha.

there one other kid i forgot his name, i think he is quite handsome but... veryyy stubborn. said chey i also havve stickers, i den dun wan to draw.. then once i take out MY stickers, he came and said teacher i want this teacher i want this. i was like EH i thought you say you got stickers already? den take mine for wad? den he continue his teacher i want....

and song rui!! i mixed song rui and wei rui tgt today. hahaa. called wrong person. haha. they did drawings for me. haha. they say give me. hahas. so nice right. benjamin added i love you on his art piece. haha. aiya he dont love me la. he just love the stickers im holding on to.


this is done by benjamin. this boy, did 10 questions in 45 mins. the best! wei rui takes half an hour to do one question. omg. or am i just easy to be bullied? dont wanna listen to me.


ben's second work.


song ruis. i dont know what is his drawing about.


its wai jun's. this boy is ah beng ah! scold vulgarities and fight one ah. aiyo-shakehead-


my weapon.... haha they really listen and do their work properly once i take this out. hahas

sometimes im fine working there. but sometimes, the kids can make me turn mad. or isit that im very tired today. hahahaha.

ive signed up for the blood donation drive in school. and know what? i think when i saw the needle ill prolly just die down there. im still fearful of needles. and ive never donated blood other than bleeding like mad since young. hello even the doctors over at NUH told my dad that im suffering from leukemia please. and thank God for his grace that im not even suffering from that illness. im just having a very bad time with my nose that i kept on bleeding like theres so much blood within me. hahas. oh ya. why the doctors say im suffering from leaukemia? coz i vomitted blood and bleed for a very long time and ill get blueblacks very easily. i can bleed till ive no strength to even walk lar. hahas. but well. its all the younger days. aunts spent alot of my medical fees. hahas.

how how? donate blood leh. how long must i stay down there? i scared ahs. my teacher asked: ARE you 45KG? well actually, the other time i weigh myself, before meal i weigh around 44kg. after meal im 45kg. so which one? i scared the nurses see my face and tell me to go back to class. i want to donate blood. i wanna save people!! oh ya, and i dont even know my blood type. haha.

oh. and Praise God that my project is 90percent done. haha. im just left with my one page of summary and the printings. hehe. and im having test next week. i cant play already. i so feel like going for kboxing session.

i went tin tai feng for dinner with mikey yesterday. hahas. i had xiao long pao. so nice!!! and had dan fan with pork chop. very nice. and have red dates tea over there also very nice. you guys should go.. one person.. bring around 20-30 can liao. hee.

and i finally found my YAMI yougart ice creams hideout!!! jo ive found it. smart am i? hahas.

got my urbanmale greeny bag already. and i so freaking love it.

i was walking around town last night looking high and low for the orange adidas watch. the old design one. was at wheelocks den i entered this watch shop and i saw adidas watch but its the new design i dont like. the FIRST thing you notice from that new watch its the BUTTONS. pricing at 95. the colours aint bad. but i like the older one. oh and they have not even advertise yet. hahas. i want the old design!!!!! who wanna bless me with it?? hahas.

i went guess shop and i tell you im so gonna get the guess wallet. im thinking about that wallet almost every single day. pay please faster fly to moi..

im gonna miss my choir rehearsal today. im working! ill see my little kids soon. haha. i hope they dont ask for any stickers from me or bug me to let them play at the playground. haha.

its a friday and im fully packed. school work then to club. wuahaha. and amanda's like so excited to club tonight. well i heard zouk's gonna play RnB tonightt...

met rene and jo for breakfast over at clementi macdonalds. and went to school together. im so early for school. hahas.

as usual first lesson will be accounting. learned Trial Balance. and i went crazie. i was like: HUH?! expenses how can be DEBIT? not CREDIT MEH? and REVENUE IS CREDIT? HUH?? HUH?? okie i was like asking questions to myself. and in the end i went up to mrs annie soon. and know what? she had long forgotten my blessed name. omg. i was absent from school yesterday coz was feeling unwell. some problems with my stomach. but im fine now. thou today im still a little uncomfortable in school. but well thank God that the pain wasnt as painful lar. hahas. and i owe mrs annie soon one homework. and i hope i wouldnt be lazy to do it. hahas.

everything was just fine till Business Fundamentals lesson came to an end. stayed in the classroom to wait for the other lesson and im just sitting there not disturbing anyone and just listening to songs from my hp. THEN! i tell you, man i was just there not DISTURBING ANYONE OKIE. someone just INDIRECTLY INSULTED me. for God sake la. leave me alone. i know you have a BIGGER BREAST THAN I DO. i KNOW you wear A BIGGER CUP than ME! you dont have to ask: jessie do you wear BRA? and giggle and laugh about it. and you dont even feel or sense that i hope you will apologise when i said: i felt insulted. im not angry with this girl, im just sad and disappointed that a female would actually love to compare so much and ask the other female such COMMON SENSE question. want to compare? dont compare with a person smaller in size than you. want to compare go compare with those who have more BURDEN. or maybe you are just joking? but please, this kinda joke to me aint a joke at all.

i was thinking so much.. till i came to a conclusion that it is needless to feel unhappy about. shes just aint sensible enough. doesnt know what to say and what not to say or even ask. theres the other time she said something i was quite unhappy and i forgotten all about it. and now it happen again, i shall forgive and forget about it then. no use getting upset over someone not even an acquintance. read, NOT even.

i went for dinner over at renes place last night. people around are rene jo keli and myself. we cooked dinner okie. rene cooked her mushroom omelette and jo did not cook. she cut and slice. the sliced luncheon meat turned out.... erm... DOTS. so i took over and sliced it and pan fried it. into my CRISPY luncheon meat and i fried it for a very long time please. hehe. nice one okie. we had vegetable wedges luncheon meat and rice. hahaha.b our dessert, we had corns. hahah!

i realised that rene jo and i can never cook something good together. or to even TRY COOKING. making so much noise at the kitchen. and arguing? jo say cook this first, i say cook that first. and in the end dont know cook what first. or everything just in the mess. and im good. i did the washing ALL BY MYSELF yesterday. hahas.


rene cooking..








moi....


fryinnnn





and im meeting baby tung tmr. im excited!

i dragged myself to school today. not cause im having a lazy mind today. im just tired. im super tired. all my fault, why? i was curious about this Young and Dangerous movie acted by Ekin,Zheng Yi Jian. the hooligans movie? my friends were saying its a nice show but not suitable for me. so the curious me went to catch it online. watched many episodes. till 5am this morning and lesson starts at 9am please. haha.

the show wasnt very bad lar. ah bengs lor. haha. nothing much.

i got my results today. and i scored an A, 89/100 for Accounts and C 66/100 for Business Fundamentals. how sad huh? got C please. how to dream for poly?? sigh how how? i need miracle water.

i met rene and jo after school. din wanted to go anywhere coz im too tired to even play lar. i wanted to head home straight actually. but then second thought, i dont mind going over to renes place coz im having dinner with her and ill be able to rest over at her place. and so i went her place.. i sleep....

in just one an a half hour!! that SERENE AND JOANNA came and jumped onto the bed and lied on TOP of me talking so loud and trying so hard to wake me up. im like so tired la! and continue to disturb and tickle me please. do you know that missy me is soooooooo duper tired ahs.

i slept till 7pm and headed down tbps thai express for dinner with the same people. keli tiff serene and jo. den headed back to renes place.. keli fells asleep and im half alive la. ive no idea why im like so tired today. and serene was asking: why you two so tired today? i replied: coz i went to catch baddies yesterday and keli was trying to run away from me. coz shes a baddie. hahaha! thats why we both wasnt alive today! hahahs. and we LOL. hhaha.

if some of you still wondering if im fine. hmm. im not gonna say im very fine. coz im still likedat lar. if you know la. but well. i just need time i guess. hehe. thou its been.. ERM.. quite SOME TIME. but.. hehe. maybe i just need MORE time? hahas.

i was thinking about what i wanna buy when i got my pay. thou i dont know if im really gonna get. but well. its on my shopping list!! november is coming. dear all.. save more alright. buy me more presents. haha!

oh yes. and i just needa attend school for 6more weeks and my another hols will be flying to me like very soon. haha. and funs gonna start again.

sweetie says she wanna visit eski bar? did i spell it correctly? and i said i wanna visit the ZOO and the NIGHT SAFARI. hahas. sweetie also says to go clubbing, but i said dont plan tat too early. coz i hate the last minute changes. so we shall wait till that day comesss..... which is like so soon. hahas.

cason found me this song i was searching high and low for months. and yes i got it now. hehe. its for the broken hearted me. hahaha! okie i know im crazie.. nice songs is jus so irresistible. sometimes im just huai lian-ing some memories lar. hehe. not my fault. my heart just want to huai lian.

i dont deny that i can be darn fragile when it comes to that. so.. if thats the case. please dont come and know me. i can NEVER take it. i really mean it. i can NEVER EVER gonna TAKE IT.

i thought i could take it but i seriously couldnt take it. not coz of what im given. its coz of how ive been feeling and thinking for i dont know how long. i seriously hope it was so ever damn easy. but it wasnt. im just feeling that ive made a wrong decision right from the start. i should not even let this kinda sheesh ever happen in my walk in life. right till now i do not know or understand the reason behind the answer.i dont wish to know either coz ill regret more and be more than sad which is more sad!!!

it was soo damn easy for you. looking at you, you surely damn glad with the answer. but all i did was to say okie and not to get anything to do with you or appear out of anywhere. simply say i just disappear from your sight. no matter how hard i hope i can just tell you. but i guess nothing i say will make anything good lar. whatever it is, im feeling so darn miserable now.i want nothing. i just want myself to walk out of it soon.but ive tried freaking darn hard. if you did noticed ive seriously tried. like mad. freaking mad.mad till ive no choice but to cry again. you think i want it to happen isit? who doesnt want themselves to be happy? i also want okie!

well. i just wanna say it here. coz i know i meant nth already, to that particular person. and PP wouldnt read it. hahas. i seriously dont deny that im feeling very down now.i tried to even tell you,thinking that after saying it will be over. but it never did lor! so whats the point of me saying that that day? now im feeling abit stupid.....

i dare not talk to deary abt this coz i know deary will scream the hell outta me. im in no position to console sweetie coz im in the same situation at her. thou my conclusion wasnt the same. hahas. sweetie, actually you need not wait. just forget it lar.

to the someone whose always watching over me, why do you even let me get involved in sucha tormenting experience? i cant grow anything out of it. im just not strong enough to get over it. its so damn not easy. cannot take it. and know what? i actually thought that im a mentally strong girl. aRHHH! PC N PC N PC.

anywhere and EVERYWHERE i go. i really mean everywhere. i just remember bit and pieces of it lar. and its a torture to me. not that i want to go and remember. i just cant FORGET lor. if my STM is willing to help me to forget. ill be more than willing..... ill never want to suffer coz i wanna be happy.

everyone is almost sian of me talking about it almost everyday. saying the same thing. think about it, whenever i say all those stuff, do i feel better? i dont. i just need someone there can.just hear me reminiscing about it. i really hope i remember nothing. but.. my brain aint doing what i want. im so angry with myself. im so disappointed with myself. why cant i just do a good job....ive never never never ever been in this kinda problem before................ im serious....

to nelson: im so glad that u are here. but i guess i couldnt do much to my brain. i just cant sleep well lar. thanks anyway. uve been a great friend to me!

deary. i know all the screams and strangling and scoldings are all meant for my own good. im an obedient girl but i dont know why i dont eat ya scoldings leh. you need to be more fierce. thanks anyways. i just bull-shitting. i treasure u alot.

God. why am i typing this here? is my entries gonna be all of my weaker self?how long can i "ren"?

and my project aint done yet. im still procrastinating lor. shheesshh.

schools gonna start.. im not looking forward to it. or maybe i should? there will be more stuff to do than being so free to remember stuff? contradicting not? AHHH....

shop more i was being told. coz thats what i did the previous round. but pay aint out. i cant vent on anything..........sadded. just let me be alone and sad lar. SIGH. xinxin where are you??!!! i need you too much at this point of time!

mixed mind mixed feelings mixed mood mixed everything. i cant think properly lar. it just today. idont know why. i wasnt likedat, i mean its so not me. but...... sigh.. people got their sad times okie. readers just bear with me. dont like it, dont read it.

im sad im sad im sad. im gonna cry like mad soon. leave me alone.

well.. i met lynn and serene and headed down to tyler's birthday party. stepped in there. wohooohho theres many people whom i do not know lar besides friends like fred marc and sam lar. haha and not forgetting the busy man tyler. haha. but well. at least ive got lynn and serene over there too. hahahs.

the food! goodness goodness. hehe. im quite crazie when i saw the brownies and tomatos and cucumber lar. haha. and the MANGO PUDDING. haha. i wanted to take pictures of it. but again feel its quite overly crazie lar. so i didnt do it. haha. the brownies.. YUMMIE. the tomatos...hmm while i was eating it, i was thinking of the time i was doing my tomato face mask la. ahaa. cucumber, i was thinking if cucumber will lighten my dark EYE rings. hehe. brownies.. i was thinking if its served warm will be GREAT! hahahas. drank a little. im not a good drinker sooo.. i had prolly three sips and i changed my drink to orange juice. hehe.

AND! tyler's.. aunt? sang this song entitled: have i told you lately. WOHHHOO.. shessss GREAT la. GREAT. i was sitting there listening.. i felt really really good la. listening to her singing, i felt so loved already. hahahaha!

besides talking to serene and lynn over there. i took picturess. hehe. not much thou. and have to leave coz lynn hasta leave early for something else and i choose to leave coz i dun think its easy to flag a cab there la. hahas. so leaving earlier might flag cab easier lor! hahas.

went to tbps mac and slacked. chatting with lingg cindy gerri and huiyi. after that headed to serenes place. slacked enjoy in the airconditioned room. and took pictures la. serene has got this very big lolipop. ill show you how big. i took it down. hehe.

ive been really lazy to work over at kbox recently. im more excited to play and work at the childcare......i cant wait for 28th. ill see my naughty students really soon. and sheeesshhh i have yet to buy them stickers. if i dont get it, they will say TEACHER JESSIE IS A LIAR. kidss... omg..

anyway.. im wondering when will i be going clubbing again...... hurr. who wanna clubb?

im also wondering when im gonna shop again. please ask me out somebody?!!?!

im also hoping to go tanning again.. who wanna tannnnnn??????!!?!

i wanna go kboxing to SCREECH.. who wanna join me?????!!

here are the pictures. hmmm. did i ever mentioned to you guys that im actually a photo-taking fanatic. hahahahaha! if you didnt know, now you know. haha!


this is lynn.


my darling serene.


and pretty samantha!


i was trying to act cute. thou i.. actually need not act! hahahhaha!




serene.myself, zhan quan? and elaine.


and lynn did this. hahahs.


look at pretty serene..


not forgetting myself...


and da two of us.


my doggie burst when i drop it at home. how sad. where can i have a pink doggie? haha. i want a real one. somebody? hear me? hahaha!


that two doggies didnt burst. haha. but i dont know where can i place it. hahahahahha. too big.

as i was saying renes got this big lolipop right..


TADDAAAHH


i wanna eat it!!


who can buy it for me?? or where can i get it!! its really sooo big that rene dont know how shes gonna eat it. haha

slacking at renes place.. took picturess..
















i wanted to stay over at renes place actually. im tired while im on her bed....... but... im going out tomorrow.... YUKI YAKI. hor nelson!!


i wanted to take with tigger. but i prefer my very own alive tigger. haha!


i was too bored..


juli! moi classmate.


tiff and myself. my phone is getting more n more JL. it doesnt snap well..






its me.

i went to sch on wed and took neoprints with ain sab and juli. and here they are..

















and im going out again tmr! and yesh! im so not working tmr. im so glad. im still lazy.. haha! missy wanna play!!!

take loadsa care dear worldly world.

ps: jo darling, i love you no matter what. noone loves you, think of me lar. theres still me around to love you. and if noone love me, you give me all of ya love hor. hahahaha! cheer up yea? ai si ni ler! feel it? if you dont, ill meet u up and scream how much i love you into ya ear. hahaha!